November 18, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
A survival instinct is deeply rooted in our individual psyche. This instinct is part of the wiring intended for individual protection and continuation of the species. Judgment is a learned behavior. It is my personal belief that these two somehow link to one another in a manner destructive to one’s authenticity.
The base defensiveness built into the survival instinct combines with learned judgment to from the opinions that too easily spew forth in criticism and harsh response. In the process, we begin to believe our library of opinions represents us in this world. The fact is we stand behind these opinions as a frontiersman stood behind the perishable walls of his fort; safe only for a time.
And safe from what?
Injected with judgment and unnatural fear our instinct forms into a terrible foe. Behind the walls of our fort, we are closed in with a beast more dangerous than anything outside the walls. We are the prisoner of a closed mind.
I must leave this fort behind. Opinions may be part of my experience but they do not represent who I am. Confidence opens the doors of my fort and moves me back into the natural flow.
Fully opening to understand and accept who I am at the core (the intended me) gives me the best sense of safety as I explore beyond the walls. The bounty of present moment experience is mine only as I allow understanding to direct my behavior – my choices and my decisions. This means I am learning to wade into each experience conscious of my purpose while respecting the potential and power of self and others.
Confidence is a constant process. Sometimes I have to sneak up on myself in that fort. Forcing my attention outside the walls, it is back to realizing it is not how I feel that determines how I act authentically; it is how I authentically act that determines how I feel. This is real confidence.
And it is real confidence – the new confidence – that opens us more fully. Without a doubt, I am my biggest adversary; I can step into self-pity with the best of them. Confidence allows me to step out of self-pity and leverage understanding to open myself to others. To be open, one must be relaxed; cool with self. Outside the walls I discover encouragement in hope and courage in adventure.
Posted in Confidence, The Stream, Wading the Stream | Tagged Experience, False confidence, Judgment, Presence, Purpose, Understanding | 1 Comment »
November 13, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
As I was about to begin the outline for chapter five of my book, the stream became cloudy while I was standing in its flow. I lost my presence.
Allowing some fear to enter my consciousness, I focused on the uncertainty of my future. My fifty-fifth birthday had passed by just five days earlier. This must have been a trigger in this unproductive glance ahead. It seems I have always struggled with the in-between birthdays; thirty-five, forty-five and now the double nickel.
This momentary lapse into the uncertainty of the future totally halted my progress and experience as a wader. This is dangerous. To remove myself from the cloudy flow, I had to refocus in the present. We get out of these frightening predicaments one step at a time. If we attempt to wade out with fearful attention on the distant bank, we may be found downstream by some other unfortunate wader after the cloudiness has faded.
If we remain fixed on the fear, it will drain us of hope. The cloudiness not only hindered my purpose, it attacked my confidence. To shield my hope I must know when to step out and when to simply not step in. The stream clears because it stays focused on its purpose. And so it is with me.
Purpose is a commitment to self. This is not a one-time act. It is a perpetual process. Commitment also dictates my continual care to wade responsibly. Being caught in the fear of a cloudy flow distracts me from my purpose. If distracted from my purpose I block the flow and restrict the selfless manifestation of my leadership, influence and service.
Whether or not I can see the bottom, there is joy in the stream. Finding that joy, I am brought yet again back to my purpose; and back into the present.
Posted in Confidence, The Stream, Wading the Stream | Tagged Presence, Purpose, Responsibility | Leave a Comment »
November 9, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
“Did you ever expect a corporation to have a conscience, when it has no soul to be damned, and no body to be kicked?” – Lord Cancellor Thurlow of England
Posted in 21st Century Skills | 2 Comments »
November 6, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
I love Sandra Rinomato. She is the hostess of Property Virgins on HGTV.
Now, why do I like Sandra? As Becky and I sat and watched a couple of episodes this Friday night, I asked myself that question. In 2004, I actually did some work for the organization that owns HGTV. Besides that, why do I like Sandra so much?
She reminds me of Anne Kaplan of Coldwell Banker in Buffalo Grove, Illinois. Anne assisted us in buying our house in Grayslake, Illinois in 1997. We then enlisted Anne to help us sell that same house in 2001 as we initiated our move to Northeast Tennessee in the Appalachian Mountain range. Anne was so cool. She listened to us and through what she learned, she understood our preferences. She then honored those preferences as we searched for our house.
I still remember walking into one house and Anne saying, “This is not for us, let’s go on to the next one.” We did not hesitate to turn around and walk out the front door to move on to the next house.
We trusted Anne. Why?
She listened to us. She learned from what she heard. I also remember having a wonderful time searching for homes with Anne – we laughed. And it was obvious that Anne loved what she did. Anne lived out the 4L’s modeled by my friend Kathryn Tucker Windham.
Thank you Anne for knowing your stuff and for loving what you do. I haven’t forgotten you.
Posted in Credibility, Stories | Tagged Trust, Understanding | Leave a Comment »
November 4, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
Desire has been present in us from our beginning. Desire is good and present in our core for a reason.
It could be said that my love for nature was due to the fact of my early years being lived out on a farm. You could say my love for flowers was formed by my maternal grandmother who was a loving friend. My need to spend significant amounts of time studying could be related to the time I had to entertain myself as a sick young child. On and on I could go.
While all this may be accurate to some degree, it may not be complete. What if I was given the love for nature so I could have a source of joy throughout my journey that began on that farm? What if I was blessed with an appreciation for all types of lovely plants so my grandmother and I would have a connection point leading us to deeper relational joy? And what if I was given the ability to concentrate – finding flow in private activities – to get me through those years of sickness and serve me in the years of my work?
Entertaining such questions not only requires me to open to the developing present, but also gives me permission to embrace how the past has unfolded into what I know today. It is okay to perceive my experience in a holistic view supporting an engaged connection to a larger purpose.
What gives one’s intent uniqueness in a larger purpose is, for that individual, the essence of desire. The fragrance of that essence does one, nor anyone else, no good if it remains bottled and tightly capped. A self infused layer of guilt is a sure method of sealing a cap of judgment on the expression of desire.
Desire flourishes in a judgment-free zone. Freedom is not a specific example of desire; freedom is indispensible to one’s desire. And we each hold the key to this freedom. Employing the key unfetters desire to flow and deliver one from the captivity of judgment.
Posted in Confidence, Credibility | Tagged Desire, Flow, Intent, Judgment | Leave a Comment »
October 29, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
Desire set free changes us – changes everything in our view. Desire freed will permeate decision making with a greater depth of sophistication. As we embrace desire as good and purposeful, we better assess facts in light of goals while honoring our feelings along the way.
This focused level of discernment builds confidence as one realizes that attention – conscious observation – rewards each experience. Desire brings clarity to the unfolding while undergirding our presence.
Desire differs from a wish because of commitment. A commitment is born in intent as we form context for desire. Desire proves it is better than a mere wish by becoming the foundation upon which you attach the conviction of intent. By latching intent down on desire, you set the stage for creating your plan. This secure connection ensures a pledge to openness and flexibility as you unfold your strategy.
Posted in Confidence | Tagged Commitment, Desire, New Confidence, Presence | 1 Comment »
October 27, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
The last two years have been stressful for Greg. The management component of his work has been made more and more difficult due to two successive mergers. As he did his best to flow along with purpose, it seemed there were larger and larger rocks at every turn. For the longest time Greg felt these rocks were barriers strategically placed with his demise in mind.
After two years of flowing in and around these perceived barriers, the flow began to form clear pools of fresh content and opportunity. From pool to pool Greg began to rediscover bits of himself that had broken off the whole and been taken downstream.
Initially, some of these discoveries were painful. After a while he began to find pieces he had not seen in some time. He would linger at some pools knowing there was even more to discover. He held on to all the pieces trusting they would eventually fit together once again. And could it be they would fit together even better than before.
Greg recently told me about how providential this flow now appeared to him. The rocks had actually helped determine a new course. He has made a significant decision about the future of his work. It is a decision that will actually bring him more into the present. The rocks have been a guide leading Greg back to his voice.
Voice gives you the power of persistence. Voice represents completeness in your own language – in terms congruent with your core. Flowing around your own rocks builds your strength and confidence in the unfolding moments. As Greg might attest, those perceived barriers may just turn out to be rocks correcting our course.
Posted in Confidence, Wading the Stream | Tagged Flow, Providence, Providential, Purpose, Voice | Leave a Comment »
October 22, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
Individuals have unique, specific character. As an individual leader, the impact of your character is intended for the benefit of each person you lead, influence and serve.
As a wader in the stream, your experience is greatly influenced by the character of the stream – a character formed by the stream’s conscious flow and enhanced by its rocks. Given a choice of two flows, one over a bed of mostly soil and one over and around rocks, I will always choose the latter. Character is formed around the rocks.
This is the stream we all long to wade. A flow over even terrain with consistent depth and pace may sound good at times – life in the 21st Century has for some found an inhuman, mechanical pace. When such a pace continues long enough, we begin to look for the eject handle: “Stop the world, I want to get off. It could slow to a permanent crawl and I would be happy.” And of course the reality is that we would not be happy in such a flow. A flow like this has little or no character.
The stream is a flow that embraces the presence of rocks and the improvisational movement required as it encounters its rocks. The stream’s progress over its rocks brings clarity. Without the cleansing power of movement over and around rocks, the stream would spend most of its time after each storm as a nautical conveyor belt for runoff and trash. With every twist, turn and tumble, the stream finds its clarity.
While appreciating the stream in the clarity of its presence, we become more conscious of how diligently it has flowed to give us the movement and place where we find our self standing.
Posted in Confidence, Wading the Stream | Tagged Clarity, Impact, Presence | Leave a Comment »
October 20, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
Our character balances in the realm of experiences both good and bad, positive and negative. Being in a conscious presence with our voice active is a performance made real by unfolding experience. This attention makes use of our faculties in the multisensory experience of being present.
We find significance in the movement required by providential flow. If we are not moving – choosing instead the stagnancy of a level surface – we will become polluted by the natural runoff and trash of life in the 21st Century. Voice clears the flow of our individual character allowing others safety in the experience of who we really are.
It is not about winning when it comes to activating and applying voice. It is about successfully navigating the treacherous waters of interactions and relationships, and being there at the end to tell the story.
Posted in Confidence, Credibility | Tagged Purpose, Values, Voice | Leave a Comment »
October 16, 2009 by Jeff Brunson
Amy and Ed are part of a collective of leaders sharing the leadership development journey. We were in a phone conference where Ed had asked for assistance with an issue. Ed’s organization was making some tough decisions and people were unsettled and afraid. Ed had organized a series of meetings with non-management facilitators and had asked for our feedback.
As our dialogue deepened, Amy and I were not certain we were providing any assistance. That is when Amy’s wise intuition took over as she asked, “Ed, where is your voice in all this?” It turns out Ed’s voice was in his planning from the beginning and becoming conscious of this fact made Ed more resolute in his approach.
Amy and Ed are learning to recognize the sound of their own voice at all stages of decision and choice. They are learning the sonorousness of purpose.
The music of your purpose must be heard. You first listen internally to find voice. You then learn its sound and consciously allow it to be heard. Being at peace with who you are fuels purpose.
Posted in Credibility, Stories | Tagged Purpose, Voice | Leave a Comment »
