Skills: Collective Facilitation – and – Storytelling
Chapters Six and Seven: Focus – and – Love

Skills: Networking – and – Giving
Chapters Four and Five: Voice – and – Presence

Skills: Communication & Connection – and – Messaging
Chapters Two and Three: Desire & Intent – and – A New Confidence

Skill: Personal/Professional Growth Management
Chapter One: Impact

On Sunday, May 6th, I helped facilitate my last graduation of students from our Region’s Youth Leadership Program on the beautiful Milligan College campus. In the last 10 years, I have had the blessed privilege of seeing around 300 students to this point. There were a few unique things that made this last time special.

One of those I share with you here. At this graduation exercise, the students present a brief talk before the attending crowd. Following is one talk on which I found myself hanging on her every word. Consequently, I asked Hannah for permission to share the manuscript of her speech here on my blog. Enjoy, share, and please respond with a comment and be part of continued encouragement for this wonderful young leader. Thank you Hannah!

Hannah’s Talk …

You know sometimes when you’re standing right in the middle of something so substantial, it can be hard to see the big picture; and my generation is living in the very heart of a technological revolution.

Fifty years ago, you would actually have to get out of your seat if you wanted to change the channel, and computers were as large as bedrooms and not something you could use at home. Likewise, one hundred years ago portable telephones were just a dream and the radio was gaining popularity. If you look into medieval times or even the early renaissance period, you would see that one new invention or change in one hundred years was an accomplishment.

Now, we are impatiently awaiting the arrival of the new iPad, iPhone or wireless vacuum cleaner that does the cleaning for you. New technology is just a part of our modern culture and although it’s all fun and useful, there are also some negative effects involved. The things that are supposed to make our lives simpler can cause clutter, and also be a source of division.

Yes, with phones and video chat we are able to keep in touch with friends and family that have moved away, but they also keep us from face-to-face conversations with those who are close to us. For example, a minivan with a TV attached to the ceiling of the car. These can be useful on long car rides when kids get really bored; but I think a child can survive a 15 minute car ride to the grocery store without having to watch cartoons. I remember whenever we would go on long car rides when I was younger, my brother and I would make up stories and reenact them with whatever stuffed animals I happened to bring so we didn’t really need the TV.

Other examples can be seen at any average high school with teenagers walking down the hallway on their phones listening to music or texting … while that thing standing next to them? Why yes, that is a fellow human being. Our imaginations and creativity, along with the discoveries of those who came before us, are what enabled us to come this far; however, if we don’t take some time just to stop and think without the aid of a television or discuss something with someone face-to-face, we might lose the thing that has carried us through wars, diseases, and disagreements among friends: our humanity.

So, while extremely useful and fun in many ways, technology can also be a hassle. It can cause clutter and be a source of division in our lives. I’m not saying that you should throw away every worldly device you have so you can find yourself, but maybe every once in a while instead of turning on the television, you could discuss something with a friend or family member, or maybe try something you never have before.

It’s a big world out there with lots of different places that don’t require 10 lbs worth of devices, and plenty of sights worth seeing through your own eyes and not the screen of a computer … so just enjoy it!

As leaders, we’re looked at through a slightly skewed lens. When we put ourselves out there and choose to lead, we immediately become targets. One of my first bosses told me that, while it isn’t necessarily fair, everything you do as a leader is scrutinized by everyone in the organization. It’s part of the job. That point holds true in formal and informal situations. The distinction between both those situations, formal and informal, probably warrants some additional consideration.

You can divide leaders into two groups for the purposes of this discussion: those who are given the authority to lead and those who choose to lead because…well…a leader is desperately needed. Formal leaders are chosen. They are politicians, managers, executives, police chiefs, and school superintendents. All are given permission and authority by an organization to manage and to lead. All leaders do both, by the way: manage and lead. The ratio varies and is largely a function of personal philosophy. I often hear people distinguishing between leadership and management as if they are different functions and are themselves ways to categories leaders. In organizations, leaders are required to perform both functions. If you have to receive permission to lead, then you have to manage, too. Corporations, political parties, governments, fraternities…all require leaders to manage things like staff, budgets, strategies, and deliverables. Management remains the primary way in which leaders are graded within the traditional organization. It’s the default and will remain the default for the foreseeable future.

The informal leader chooses themselves. Once they choose to lead, their followers gather. This kind of leadership is more tribal. Informal leaders become the “official” leaders of their movements, but I will refer to them as “informal” because they do not wait to be granted authority or permission. They earn their authority. They earn credibility. They do and do and do, and they attract followers who believe in the work being done. Informal leaders can exist within formal organizations, but they tend to exist in the ether. They may not be products of Social Media and Web 2.0, per se, but they thrive today because of them. Read “Tribes” by Seth Godin. He’ll give you the 411.

Students in a classroom have little choice but to “learn”, be it by rote or genuine interest in the material. Regardless, the student is in the classroom, the classroom is the domain of the teacher, and the teacher has the power. It’s the same model as the conventional world of work. A manager and a teacher are very similar. Whether or not leadership is involved depends largely on the individual. The degree to which leadership plays into that leader-to-manager ratio is always optional in these kinds of institutionalized situation. So, let me shed some light on this kind of teaching: it’s not teaching at all, but instructing. The teacher who chooses to manage also instructs. The bio-chemical, cognitive, and emotional components required for true learning are largely absent in instruction. You do steps 1, 2, and 3 in order. No discussion. You do precisely as you are told.

A leader now…that’s a totally different situation. A leader is a teacher and a mentor and a role model. They have to do the hard work of connecting with the student and then lead them down the path to real learning. When momentum is created, they do the very surprising thing that all great leaders do: they get out of the way. Maria Montessori maintained that an adult who does for a child that which they can do for themselves is not helping but becoming an obstacle to growth.

How harsh! What adult hasn’t taken joy from helping a child? Did you get that? Adults take joy when helping a child. Take joy. Every time? Maybe not. But it gives you something to think about, doesn’t it? The same applies to leaders and managers. Leaders and managers who do for those they lead that which they can do for themselves are not helping but becoming an obstacle to…to what? To growth. To excellence. To innovation. To everything good that we say we want for the people we lead.

Here’s my advice for avoiding the situation: provide direction, then get out of the way.

Minimize management, maximize leadership. Minimize obstacles, maximize potential. Minimize instructing, maximize teaching. Get out of the way, and watch great things happen. Along the way, through your example, your articulated vision, your leadership voice, you will teach those who choose to follow you and choose to learn. Subtle, gentle leadership is the way.

I talk, and write (profusely it seems), about presence and being present−the unfolding of things in and around us. And yet, volumes could be filled with what I still have to learn about being with in the unfoldment. Lately I have realized the importance of consciousness with each step; a detachment from my need to understand (my own private version of control). Step-by-step, I am holding the joy found in the blessings of experience (one-by-one).

In a reflective time, I have learned what it means to really contemplate and participate in the unfolding flow: “Take a long, loving look at what really is.” I learned this definition of contemplation from my study of the works of Richard Rohr, who also says that, “Contemplation is a way to hear with the spirit and not with the head.”

For me, I suppose it is simply part of my spiritual wiring, but I must learn continually on my journey and share this with you through story and storytelling. For those close, I issue my apology; for both the constant of this and that it is most likely to continue. But you see, this is my love. My desire (fueled by love) is my energy for spiritual service. My intent (guided by love) is confident freedom in spiritual service. My unfolding confidence swirls in the commerce of storytelling.

Yes, building a story with you is my love applied.

Free in the Story

Inside you begin as the seed of trust sprouts,
determined in the spirit with each step.

It was both challenging and freeing to realize I was not my opinions. Simply put, opinions come only from what is external to you: they are not representative of who you really are. If you are not judicious, these externally generated assumptions may saturate to a degree that feels internally authentic. They never are.

A common characteristic of any teacher I most remember is how he connected with us in the learning moment. The teachers that have long since been deleted from memory are those who, sometimes angrily, spewed forth opinion (a.k.a. judgment).

The teacher of purpose seems to embrace the authenticity of the student and how each individual connects for optimal learning in the moment. This is hard work. To the purposeful teacher, she is simply doing what she does best. I have yet to meet a leader who, when clear on purpose, does not also become a teacher within the realm of passionate expertise. These leaders teach from principle and lovingly expect application of what is learned.

For these leader/teachers, the message of impact is when the students become natural teachers within their own passionate expertise. Effective leadership is confidently doing the work of your spirit, eliminating distracting, divisional thinking, and modeling purposeful focus in the story.

Your Magic

It began in unaware impact;
the way you connected me to reality
and waved a wand of alignment.

−J. Brunson

Spiritual Service
21st Century Skill: Collective Facilitation
Book 1, Chapter Six: Focus

Here is the trap in these discussions: much emphasis is placed on presence directed towards others but not enough is placed on presence directed towards the self.  We focus on Step 2 but leave out Step 1.  Let me explain what I mean.

A very wise friend (hint: it was Jeff) once told me, “You cannot do for others what you are not prepared to do for yourself.”  Great observation.  It’s essentially a re-write of the old adage that you cannot love others until you love yourself.  In order to be present for others, we must learn to be present for ourselves.  We must learn introspection before we can be prepared to authentically engage in “extrospection” for others.  Not a real word, by the way, but you get my drift: look inside before you look outside.  Jeff’s reminder to me and to others is to take the time to take care of yourself so that you will be refreshed and in the proper state of mind to even begin to think of taking care of others.  This works on many levels and in just about every circumstance.

Relax.  Breathe.  Listen to yourself.  Allow the quiet and the focus on yourself to nurture your own growth and development.  Being present for others is essential to service and to leadership.  It is much easier to do when you have created the quiet, sacred space inside of yourself from which your purpose can flow…

If you desire to know purpose, then discover the gift you offer in the world. Your gift−entrusted into your being in the beginning−is a beacon directing you to purpose and meaning. If there is any rhythm, or order, to one’s purpose, it is in the freedom of authentic presence.

“Being with” is a phrase that has become a part of my consciousness−making me more attentive to flow and true freedom. To simply be with is by nature the purest act of connection from one to another. It is about being present in the presence of another.

In being present, I move not because of expectation, but in expectation. There is something to be gained in your presence; in the flow of your unique story. I delight in the expectation of what I may learn about you. In the enchantment of connection, we are joined together−affixed by individuality.

Honor your transition from the old confidence to the new confidence. It is a transition of intention and not many enter it. The transformative journey requires great courage and spiritual stamina. It is in this space between the old and the new where you bring to light authentic success−your gift and the essence of you.

Liberation (Delight in Your Presence)

To be special in this world,
to be uniquely who you are,
is rhythmic freedom and flow.