“Only those who have forgotten themselves completely, who truly float free, can give their whole voice to blessing the wind and the wave.” Thomas Green
I’ve built a coaching practice around a life-long principle: “To do some thing for others, you have to be able to do this thing for yourself.”
This is counter to how many of us have been taught. Like some other things we’ve grown up with, I believe it’s a matter of misinterpretation. The root of the misinterpretation is in a definition of serving that focuses on others in a manner that completely ignores our truest self … that says you are not important.
The opening quote by Thomas Green and the principle seem to be opposing one another in that one seems to say we must forget self while one implies a focus on self. I will argue that they are intending the same thing. However, the mutual intention is not a simple matter of remembering versus forgetting. The mutual intention is awareness – to be aware versus unaware. Both the quote and the principle speak to being and doing. Both speak to an internal awareness leading to an external focus – action.
I can only securely focus on others when I’ve become confident that I will be okay. Is this faith? This is probably not faith in the larger sense, but it must truly be faith in the applied sense – faith in action. What faith and what action? My first thought is that I must know, and remember, before I can forget. The act of forgetting refers more to consciousness than memory. It’s about being so conscious, and therefore confident, about self that I can set ‘me’ aside and focus on others, float free with purpose, and give my voice to all I do.
My thought for the month is uncannily similar:
“Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.”
–Lao Tzu
I breath deeply and read the first two lines. I close my eyes, let the breath out. Then I read the last two and allow those thoughts to be the only thoughts in my mind. They would seem to contradict what you are saying…on the surface. But, to elaborate on your explanation of the misconception, we can’t serve others if we are running on empty. I forget that from time to time; still incorporating this notion into my daily being. I, too, was raised to think differently. Not exactly a martyr, but not exactly far from it either. You asked me why a recent accomplishment filled me with pride. The answer is simple: I was simulateously doing some THING for myself as I was doing some THING for others. I suppose that’s life’s “sweet spot.” I just need to figure out how to sustain it!