I am at one of those points in life; when where you’ve been and where you are going seem totally disconnected. They never are.
Transition
Fourteen years ago, I became conscious of one of life’s realities; transition. As is so often the case, the act of learning made me conscious. Through this learning act, I became conscious of my incompetence in managing a transition.
I learned that a transition is not only the space between an end and a new beginning, it is the open space for creativity and evolution – not just doing things differently, but doing different things.
Fear
While I have always believed myself to be a courageous spirit, the anxiety in this current transition seems to be excessively intimidating. It is normal in living to come to the occasional contemplation and find yourself stopped while you prepare the passage. Like hiking the wooded trail weaving its way back and forth across the life-giving mountain stream, you are frequently halted to study the placement of the rocks and find your way across.
Strategically placing each step, you cross the stream and continue your hike on the chosen trail. Then comes the unexpected; the next contemplation appears to be a void – its drop steep enough to end your very existence should you have stepped off unaware. The fear in this challenge is less about the distance to the bottom and more about the surprise of the disappointment.
Connection is a Truth
Here I am in the drama of my disappointment. I find myself wondering if the source of my struggle is an unfounded fear burning through a weakened faith. Maybe solving my challenges has come too easily for me in the past. Whatever the case, I’ve realized my anxiety has distracted me from something of extreme importance; connection is a truth.
With this truth I must discover a crossing. I have been reminded that this void is not here to destroy me, but that the materials for the bridge are found in the connection of where I have been and where I have yet to go.
“Whatever you are, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what you were intended for and you will succeed. Be anything else and you will be ten thousand times worse than nothing.” -Sydney Smith
All transition is only one moment at a time, in that moment, one has all one needs.
I think that it is from such challenges and transitions that we can really discover ourselves. It is hard to remember that when you are in the middle of it and in the middle of the fear.
Several years ago I read a metaphor about traveling down a road and looking ahead and seeing that there was no bridge across a wide river. If you can keep traveling down the road and have confidence, you can sometimes discover that the new bridge is just over the hill and around a bend and isn’t visible from where you are right now. This stuck with me, because I’ve found it is so true. Often I don’t know that there’s a new bridge until I’ve travelled a bit futher down the road.
This is a beautiful example of how, we has humans are inately programmed to seek more. Then we are surprised when the “more” shows up. This can indeed be a test of our faith and courage. One thing I know with certainty, you’ll cross your bridge, feel good about the crossing, settle in and then do it all over again. Congratulations!
Julie Hawkins
Jeff,
I think it is not only that we cross a bridge during transition, but that it is sometimes more profound, more personal than where we are going or obstacles we have encountered. It is about who we are and who we are becoming.
Many years ago I read a book which I think is now out of print, “Beginnings without End,” by Sam Keen. He introduced me to the idea that at times we die and then are reborn within our lifetime. It seems an apt metaphor for what I have experienced. And it seems necessary to spiral all the way down so that the way is cleared — the void is there — to give way to the birth. This requires time and may involve work, but also seems to occur by grace.
You might check this link out – interesting stuff
http://www.quantumconsciousness.org/
Breathing in. Breathing out. Placing one foot in front of the other, one step at a time.
How I’ve gotten in my own way during transition is my craving for a tiny inkling of what’s around the corner. When I am where I am, I know, ‘Everything is ok. Everything is unfolding as it should.’
Peace to you my friend,
Melanie
Beautiful post. It is sometimes hard to remember to keep putting one foot in front of the other and to just breathe. I wish you the best during this transitional period. I have no doubt you will come out on the other side stronger than ever.
Kristina
I read a story recently about a gold miner in California who knew he was very close to a big strike. He went days on end without hitting the motherload and finally gave up. Someone else picked up where he left off and hit the big vein just 3 feet later.
I can so resonate with this story and your blog post. In transition, I don’t want to stop 3 feet short of total success! And knowing that I’m in a temporary transition helps so much.
Sandy
Jeff, I’ve also heard void called ‘wasteland’ from the book called The Dream Giver. http://www.brucewilkinson.com/
With all of our transitions, stops, starts, disappointment, fear and wavering belief, the wasteland is actually our friend. Uncomfortable as it is, it’s part of life.
I have belief you will make it through and your strength will be that much stronger.