Wish or Desire

I’m part of a small writing group. Our next assignment is to write about “What do I want?”

My thoughts usually bounce around a while before I set out to write anything. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I was raised. I got the definite impression that what I want is not good. My dad used to tell me, “Go around the side of the house, want in one hand and s*@# in the other and see which one gets full first.” He was a natural teacher.

So I got the perception, somehow, that what I want is not good. Then I studied with William Bridges in his book Creating You and Company. He took me through an exercise where he asked me to make a list of wishes. I did so. I let that stand for a while as suggested. Later in another chapter he had me go back to that list and identify those things where I was willing to do something to get them. I did so.

These things he called desires.

That exercise was the beginning of freedom from the judgment of my wants – or more appropriately – my desires. In The Journey of Desire, John Eldredge told me that my desires are good – they were put there for a reason.

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About Jeff Brunson

In this whirling 21st Century the individual needs to embrace the authentic self and confidently leverage the energy and power found there. As we entered the 21st Century, I became more concerned about what leaders like you needed for successful influence and personal fulfillment. As we move deeper into this challenging 21st Century, I’m more convinced than ever that the core of my work is in helping individual leaders remember who they are − a trueness. It is about confidence found in your authenticity.

One thought on “Wish or Desire

  1. HA! You know, you’re the first person I have EVER heard, outside of Texas, use the two-handed approach to prioritization. I use the phrase in Illinois, and people look at me like I’m crazy. Glad to see I’m not the only one with a handful of unfulfilled want. =)
    You know how I feel about serendipity…it is ironic that your assignment is similar to one I was given recently: if you know that successful people figure out what they want first then put all their energy into getting it…what do you want? She told me to research successful people and see if I can take something useful from their stories. And I have to journal. She says that’s the key. Free-association and streams of consciousness have served me well in the past. I need to tell you about how the 1985 Mexico City earthquake linked to an intense fear of talking on the phone that I used to have. Wild stuff.
    So, I’ve sorta been journaling on and off, trying to get into the “mode.” It’s hard to do when you’ve got a million other things to do. Or that’s what you tell yourself until you realize that you’re just plain scared. Scared of digging deeper. Scared of what you’ll find. Scared of not being able to change it. Or, worst of all, scared of trying…scared of failing. And that’s me. In a nutshell: scared to fail. In a debilitating sort of way. I think I understand now why I have been avoiding putting the finishing touches on my “Development Story.” I have the hardest time ignoring Truth these days. Once I open my eyes to something, I cannot simply pretend I didn’t see what I saw. Used to be able to do that, but this whole pesky “self-awareness” thing makes that impossible to do. So, if I put something to paper, make a commitment to myself about myself, then I can’t just ignore it. It will be there, in front of me, waiting. And I am scared of not being able to pull “it” off, whatever “it” is. Whatever change is waiting, whatever “event” is waiting in those shadows I described to you a few weeks ago…well, I’m afraid that I will not be able to pull it off. And like my wife said the other day when we were enjoying the mindless pleasures of “Survivor,” “That guys isn’t going to win because he doesn’t really believe he can do it.” Law of Attractions. Karma. Garbage in, garbage out. That makes me even more afraid. And so it goes. My own little cycle of doubt and fear and self-fulfilling prophecies. Extinguishing my ability to fulfill my potential.

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