I was leading my Client through a dialogue to illustrate the powerful difference between the words difficult and crucial as they relate to conversations.
I asked him who he was focusing on when he labeled a conversation as difficult. Like everyone else I ask this question, he got it right when he replied, “Me.” I told him that he never had to have another difficult conversation … if he chose to make a simple language shift.
That shift would involve a change from seeing a conversation as difficult to seeing it as crucial. I then asked him what that said to him. He then proceeded to outline a flow with the two words that I thought was nothing less than insightful.
Difficult is … unpleasant – not enjoyable.
Crucial is … needed – required.
Difficult is … about me.
Crucial is … important – critical.
Difficult is … avoidance.
Crucial is … skillful confrontation.
You too never have to have another ‘difficult’ conversation – not if you follow my Client’s insight.
For an excellent resource, read Crucial Conversations.