Suffering it may seem
and so suffering it is;
but impairing it is not. .
−verse 2 of Transforming Trueness (Repose)
Passion evokes passion.
We define passion by typically thinking of enthusiasm. However, the original definition of passion included suffering (the cost along the journey).
I was 25 years old, we had been married a bit over 3 years, and our daughter was 6 months old. I had just completed a very successful year as a life insurance agent, achieving the ‘rookie-of-the-year’ award, and other accolades in the territory of which I was a part. It was also the year my parents divorced after 30 years of marriage.
As if this was all not enough for one young man, I believed I was being “called” into the ministry. I made a decision that was to change everything. I applied to a theological seminary and was accepted. We sold our first house; I quit my selling job, we packed up, gathered our baby daughter, and headed toward that seminary.
In the process of all this, I had a disturbing realization that this was not the right time for this decision. We made it as far as my hometown, about three hours northeast of the seminary destination. I quickly became confused to the point of despair. We rented a place and decided to stay a while so I could figure out this confusing matter.
I can still feel the pain of my confusion all these years later. More than anything at the time, it seems I had gotten caught up in the reaction of others to my original thoughts of ministry. It felt good to have others be so ‘proud’ of me. Their communication of this pride, and my connection to what was being said, served ego more than my authenticity, I suppose. When I realized (or sensed) this, the agony was great.
Since consciously launching into this work that has chosen me, I’ve often looked back on that time. From what I see, I continue to be deeply grateful that we did not make it to the seminary campus. For you see, I firmly believe that I would not have been where this work could find me had I followed through on that decision.
The ensuing years, with a treasure of experience, prepared me for now; the release into the flow of who I am in what it is I really do.
Acting on my own Trueness brought me the privilege of the spirits I’m blessed to give to, and from whom I receive so much. Like me, your unique Desire & Intent is a tangible objective important to the balance called for and called out by your own words.
I’m loving what I do now because I know what I bring to the table, confident in my strengths and my authenticity. –Robert, loving leader
Feel, Hear, See
You must test feel against desire–what you know as real.
You must be present and open to hear–as you stand in the confident middle.
You must hold intent next to what you see–both reality and possibility.
A poem for your work: Words