21st Century Skill Paradox – Part 2

Communication does not achieve connection when the communicator has not made the effort to hold the paradox associated with Skill 2.

Skill 2 is Communication and Connection; number 2 of 7 skills I’ve found to be critical in leadership as we’ve fallen forward into the 21st Century. The 21st Century leader has become conscious of the power transferred through the energy of Desire & Intent. The power is in communication backed by purpose (the Why this leader does What she does). And such reinforced communication makes the connection intended.

Learning to hold & release comes about in that tense intersection of the desire that drives you and the intent that draws you out. Motivated by internal desire we are drawn to see more clearly the intent drawing us out. And while we want what is intended just as much as what is desired, we begin to realize the distance between desired reality and intended possibility. And thus a tension blasts into our consciousness. What a wonderful welcome into presence!

Passion evokes Passion.

Separating the internal energy of desire needed for communication clarity from the external intent of connection buries passion. In my work I continually find individual after individual whose passion has been buried in the avalanche of 21st Century busyness−a belief that we are too busy to spend proper time for self. If too busy for self, then one is inevitably too busy for those led−too distracted to truly absorb information, and so busy wiping away the swarm of data that listening is nonexistent.

“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.” −Simon Sinek

Your Desire & Intent is the energy for successfully exercising the skill of Communication and Connection. The melody of your passion is composed in Desire & Intent. Yes, communication is a skill that when properly applied creates connection. For communication and connection to come together and form this second 21st Century skill, you must become very attentive; placing Listening at the heart of articulation and association.

Skill 2The paradox of Skill 2 that must be held is with our desire to speak with credibility and the intent that our associated voice find resonance with the receivers. Your intended connection gives your desired communication a structure in which to come together as Communication and Connection, and subsequently deploy with impact.

This is holding the paradox of Skill 2, allowing credible articulation to overlap with associated reception. Confident openness flows from an authentic core; this is organic transparency valued in this 21st Century.

See post Shadow Strengths – Chapter Two (Desire & Intent)

BCL Blog 4

Skillfully Generous – Desire & Intent (True Self, True Generosity)

In a world that desperately needs us to be generous one-to-another, true self is the pure path to true generosity.

Day-by-day, month-into-month, I am ever more aware of just how rapidly life can flow by us. Increasingly important then is the time and opportunities when I can be in the presence of another illuminating as best I’m able the True Self.

Launching early into my Season of Contemplation, I reached out to my coach and asked her to be with me in the process. In the subsequent conversation Judy reminded me of my answer to a question eighteen months prior. Her question to me: “What makes you happy at work?” My answer: When I am in the presence of another; listening and moving him/her to a conscious embrace of who they are and the power found at the core of that authenticity.

Generosity in its purest pattern forms where your desire meets your intent. Driven by desire and drawn by intent you find yourself learning how to consciously and synchronously hold what is most important while releasing what is impossible to control.

In the contradiction of hold and release the suddenness of experience is simply the true self breaking into the present.

The skill you need to lead generously is summed up and delivered through your unique Desire & Intent. From a selfless versus selfish place, generosity is trued against a substantial self; a stone grinding out each distraction to core authenticity.

Our Outer Accountability – Desire & Intent

The participants in the group experience had each answered the Desire & Intent question−exposing in the “Power of 3” the flowing rhythm of unique, individual Impact. Pat, in the diagnostic style of her profession as a physician, asked, “What if all 3 of mine are equal?” I had to admit that I wasn’t sure how to answer. So to offer something in support of her studious intent, I explained how this rhythmic power of 3 seemed to always provide the right order for the individual; to concentrate on that versus equality.

There are lots of actions we could take to pursue a work or a career, but we often don’t begin, because we don’t feel the grip, the connection, the current that can carry us across such a wide tract of water. −David Whyte, The Three Marriages

The rhetorical and rhythmic power of 3, while still a deep mystery to me, has brought my work to life. It was the singularity of my own Desire & Intent that provided the foundation for building−confirming and making real what I know.

I was pleased and honored when Dr. Pat approached me one-on-one afterwards with her 3 answers in hand. As she translated her physician pencraft, I was able to better understand the natural flow and rhythm of what she had recorded about herself. It was cool to watch her stand right there and witness her desire collide with her intent and clearly illustrate her Impact in this world−this presence and way of being in the life and work that she chose, and that had chosen her.

So very much was brought into Dr. Pat’s view through the one word she selected intuitively to open this vista; “Wellness.” At first in her eyes, and subsequently in the words we shared, I was privileged to be a part of this story, even if for a brief time.

Pat is an active example of someone living her Desire & Intent−her Trueness.

See companion truth – Our Inner Territory – The Freedom of Desire & Intent

Know Thyself – Desire & Intent in the 21st Century

Your unique Desire & Intent for those you lead, influence, and serve is your Living Methodology as a human being.

This Desire & Intent is what makes you a leader in this 21st Century.

This swirling together of desire and intent forces your presence in the middle; a place of natural tension from which you lead in the balance of Trueness (who you really are).

My coach said something powerful after she pointed out, making me super-conscious of, how I had built my life around my natural strengths−a Living Methodology. She said, “There is no veil between this methodology for you and this methodology for your clients. My methodology of Gathering, Giving, Growing is my story: a living unfoldment.

My work and life are rich because of this.

I desire this for you.

The Living Methodology for you must become your guidance for executing on the most important issue for you, those you lead, and all that is collectively represented.

My studies over the past few years have pushed me into the ground of who I am−my own Trueness. I have become vividly aware of two facts concerning my own Desire & Intent. One is that once committed to it, as I am, there’s no getting out of it, only getting into it. Two is the realization that it is not about soaring or running in the power of Desire & Intent, it’s about becoming a grounded being−a steady walk in my Trueness.

Do not underestimate the importance of Knowing Thyself, and sharing accordingly.

A Soul Dance with Desire & Intent

A soul dances in the harmonious tension of authentic Desire & Intent.

In desire there is attachment as you become conscious of the one thing you cannot help but do.

Through intent you envision the impact of releasing your desire into the world. And the tension builds as you realize the fact that you own no control of such an outcome. This is the call for detachment; you must let go of the outcome.

In the unfolding exploration of my work, I have been blessed with an understanding of the merger of desire and intent. I express the alliance singularly as Desire & Intent. Your Deisre & Intent for those you lead, influence, and serve forms a tension of attachment and detachment.

This is beautiful! Now the dance may begin.

The dance is not to the left with desire. The dance is not to the right with intent. You only find your rhythm by consciously being with, and holding the tension of the middle.

As you give way to your dance, your love as a leader forms providentially moving commitment−a welcome obligation discovered in the beautiful middle.

Skill 2: A Generational Alliance

The most connective, effective performance management in my career was when there was no process. None. Except … my boss, Gene, and I talked consistently.

This was my first job after graduating  from the university. Gene’s skillful mentoring and dedication to organic dialogue proved to have a foundational impact throughout my entire career.

Mentor as Teacher/Learner of Experience
(Skill 2:Communication and Connection)

The generations looking to those os us older and more experienced need the offer of 3 basic things:
1) Paint clearly the picture of what is expected
2) Guide in the freedom to deliver in the picture
3) Review often, and mutually, how the picture is developing

What is important to you is a powerful guide to those led, influenced, and served. But only if you consciously act in this power. This is your unique Desire & Intent. Trust it and you will be energized for all communication and connection.

Mentee as Learner/Teacher in Experience
(Skill 2: Effective Communication and Motivation)

Make a genuine effort to understand at a high level what is important to us. Carrots and sticks are increasingly ineffective. We value individual autonomy, a culture of connectedness, and an opportunity to leave our world a better place than we found it. Strive to maintain trust and credibility by keeping communication lines open and efficient. Let us know the value related to why we are doing what we are doing. −Jason Guinn

As Jason coaches us, communicate clearly and expect a connection.

Release Desire & Intent into Skill 2


This is what I wish for the younger generations: that they embrace and enjoy the journey and are a happy traveler along the way.

Wading the Stream of Awareness
        (Desire & Intent Chapter)

 

 

Jason is a young leader I met while facilitating a leadership retreat. He seems to maintain an incredible state of awareness. He is learning things in his youth about being a leader that others don’t often grasp until much later; and through much turbulent experience.

Jason is knowledgeable, yes. But it is what I see him do with that knowing that builds his credibility in the world around him. He is learning what it looks like to embrace the accountability of his Desire & Intent while allowing it to amplify his voice along the way. He communicates clearly as he sorts information purposefully for the other person. He is becoming more conscious of the unique methodology by which his authenticity channels to those he leads, influences, and serves.

I treasure the time I get with Jason. His is a bit younger than my daughter. Is it a father thing? No. I feel a deep connection. Sure, I did things to make this connection (that’s what I do), but its depth was established from Jason’s authentic response.

Jason is a happy traveler, trusting the guidance of his Desire & Intent. Desire is real. Honor this reality. Intent envisions desire made real in the world; and intent cannot manifest anything real without attachment to honored desire.

Like Jason, the vision of intent gives your desire a method in which to release−to do its thing in the world. Release the influence of your Desire & Intent into all communication and allow it to authenticate your connections.

See sister post, Letting Go into Desire & Intent