21st Century Skill Paradox – Part 3

Individual purpose and collective purpose can seem like opposites, and often working one against the other.

The leader’s personal purpose brings to light a confidence we who follow need to see. And we need to feel and hear how such confidence becomes our own. The 21st Century leader speaks from A New Confidence−a clear articulation rooted in purpose.

We can all appreciate the one who is practiced in the third skill of Messaging. When practiced and present, the messenger brings clarity in the moment. Such clarity becomes the foundation for engagement and the fuel for connection, combining to inform the future by our individual and collective choices in the present. Aimed at the collective, the engagingly clear message encourages individual purpose.

As a leader you must stand strong for us in the middle−in the creative tension of the space between what we need as individuals and what we need to pull and keep us together. This creative space exists only in the present.

Without getting into all the varying reasons, I think we can agree that change is a constant in this 21st Century. And while there are indeed many levels and types of change, any particular alteration can throw individuals in seemingly competing directions. From the same experienced change some begin a grieving process and others become excited to move forward. While we may react to change uniquely, we must soon come together in a proactive move through the change.

Skill 3Enter the 21st Century leader who leads us to connective clarity. This leader is not held back by a need to be understood that overwhelms the essentiality of understanding. Someone in a position of leadership who holds a selfish focus diminishes individual contribution−belittling efforts beyond their own capacity. But you, in A New Confidence, lead us with personal purpose, modeling for us in your message how individual purpose joins with and empowers collective purpose.

What a message eventually produces is not nearly as important, to those who need its clarity, as the creative space opened by the engaging view.

The clear message is basically Storytelling in its purest form. As it is told to us together, we each are engaged in seeing, hearing, and feeling it as our own.

Together we are transformed, driven by individual purpose and drawn into a collective vision.

For more on A New Confidence, see post:
Shadow Strengths – Chapter Three (A New Confidence)

BCL Blog 4




Skillfully Generous – A New Confidence (At Home with Self)

A New Confidence is a generous bearing−and your steady walk in purpose. A new confidence grows from the generative capacity of awareness.

The confluence of your desire and your intent flows your energy through a new confidence; a proliferating presence. When you as our leader openly, consciously, and consistently grow in the moments unfolding before us, we grow commensurately. This reality is yet further support for a principal factor in one’s own growth: the confident energy applied through centered discipline to grow and develop.

Are you at home with who you are and what you gladly give as a leader?

It is an intensely difficult proposition to engage in associated tasks of opening a door to true self for another when one’s own door is locked tight.

“Once your soul comes to its True Self, it can amazingly let go and be almost anything except selfish or separate. … It has already achieved its purpose in pure being more than in any specific doing of this or that.”
−Richard Rohr, Immortal Diamond

You cannot lead another home if you haven’t found home yourself. At the home of true self you found the foundation for A New Confidence; the confident energy of purpose.

The journey of leadership will often take you through rugged terrain. It is the practice of holding and releasing that keeps the real you moving along generously.

Our Outer Accountability – Living A New Confidence

My part in the phone conference was coming to an end. We were talking about our upcoming work together with strategy and story. Knowing her peers had not worked with me as closely as she, Vicki spoke up in support of the upcoming preparation. She said some wonderful things to her peers about the experience she had in our one-on-one work as coach and coachee. I am truly grateful for, and uplifted by, her words. Most importantly was what Vicki was exhibiting in her comments.

Vicki is deeply respected by these fellow leaders. This respect was built long before we met and worked together. If I did anything for her (and her kind words testify that is so) it was simply to bring her true self to present consciousness.

Through a commitment to her unique Desire & Intent, Vicki is more deliberate in flowing this authenticity outward toward others.

What does this look like?

In summary, Vicki’s Impact is in how she supports others in becoming stronger contributors. She lives in this new confidence holding the creative tension formed by the intersection of her Desire for creative diversity and her Intent that others be confidently fulfilled.

Vicki’s outward confidence is A New Confidence in that she has simply reconnected with an inward source−her own authenticity. Our outer accountability is rooted in the inner territory of who we are−our trueness. Like Vicki, our trueness is expressed through the Impact of who we are−a collision of desire and intent for those we lead, influence, and serve.

See companion truth – Our Inner Territory – Standing with A New Confidence

Know Thyself – A New Confidence in the 21st Century

Have you been pushed into the ground of who you really are?

Until you experience such compression you will not be informed by Trueness.

“Be informed” … my coach often asks me a question at very particular points: “How does that inform the future?” With the first few times of being asked, I thought she was only trying to get me to see a certain present action in terms of future impact; you know, visioning and such.

Judy, my coach, has been instrumental in how I now see my own Trueness−in a flowing, growing presence. Holding tight to such self-possession, I realized her deeper intent with her question. She was patiently working to get me to see what others do in this work I have been blessed to do; how their deeper self-possession, with which I assisted, led them in their impact and to a natural cycle−this informed (validated) my Trueness.

This is the powerful cycle of A New Confidence.

Personal purpose is firmly held in Trueness. Becoming fully aware (informed) funds A New Confidence. You are the message!

Inform the future in the presence of your own message.

A Soul Dance with A New Confidence

A New Confidence is simple consciousness.

We were talking about my coaching program and what she desired to get from the experience. After we had talked for a bit, she looked at me and simply stated, “I need you to tell me I’m not too old.” I felt a combined tension of heartbreak and excitement.

I was heartbroken for her and all whom she represents. I was excited for her as I know the process we will navigate together will open her to a new confidence−a confidence built on simple authenticity; who she has been since the beginning.

There is no dance when the movement is choreographed in the commerciality of a need to be right or look good; usually at the expense of another. As with any soul dance, it begins as you feel the union of rhythm and melody.

The consequential sway is impossible to resist.

Other than the pre-work assigned to my new coachee, the first order of business was for her to read Barbara Sher’s book, It’s Only Too Late if You Don’t Start Now. … A book that helped save my sanity at mid-life.

Will I show her many new things? No. What I will do is simply make her conscious of what has been building all along−now ready to be fully and consciously freed in the dance.

She will be introduced to her soul dance, and to dance in A New Confidence.

Skill 3: A Generational Alliance

The message is meaningless unless focused in the clarity of a shared vision−The Larger Story.

How very important to take accountability for your own growth and development, to make every effort to connect in each interaction, and to be clear and unconditional in our messaging. As we link such skills, a world of evolving experience unfolds for us.

Mentor as Teacher/Learner of Experience
(Skill 3: Messaging)

Among my generation I have found (sadly) many who have navigated an entire career unconscious of who they are at the core. More sad still is any system that rewards such unconsciousness.

In this stimulating 21st Century, I’m discovering a wonderful desire common among the generations; to make a difference in life and with work. This can only happen consciously as one holds the union of desire and intent. In this consciousness we discover the message in us, and that we are the message.

Mentee as Learner/Teacher in Experience
(Skill 3: Active Listening and Engagement)

It is likely that we view solutions to problems in radically different ways, using a variety of tools that are familiar to us, but that might not be so familiar to our mentors. Give us the opportunity to prove the value of considering new, innovative solutions to problems. Listen to what we have to offer and provide feedback that will challenge us to deploy our talent and creativity in ways that will best move everyone toward a common shared vision. −Jason Guinn

It is time for a focused generational collaborative formed for the larger story.

Release A New Confidence into Skill 3

In the post about Impact and Skill 1, I wrote about Leslie. She and I have in common the spiritual gift of encouragement. We have each learned how exercising our gift places us square in the present.

The 21st Century leader is modeling for us a new confidence; a presence that is both selfless and powerful. Focusing her leadership in the present … ensures that we put our attention to the right priorities; thus building fulfillment in our present work and assuring the rewards of tomorrow. −Wading the Stream of Awareness (A New Confidence Chapter)

Leslie’s acts of encouragement are in the moment and become an engaging message about tomorrow−about what ought to be. The clarity of a message is a gift−a connection point found only in the present as we gather in the clarity. When a leader is truly clear, a collective future vision begins to become more individually organized in the present.

No vision is collectively good until we individually engage and connect. And we cannot achieve any vision without holding its story in the balance of the present; together. As with Leslie, leadership challenges us to find a confident stance in that delicate, tight space of understanding. If I cannot stand there as a leader, how can I expect others to stand with me and hold the tension of our future.

Any story worth our collective attention pulls us into the present as it flows from clarity to engagement to connection. It is leaders like Leslie who understand the importance of consistent messaging to keep us on an unfolding path as we live the story.

See sister post, Letting Go into A New Confidence