I am at one of those points in life; when where you’ve been and where you are going seem totally disconnected. They never are.
Fourteen years ago, I became conscious of one of life’s realities; transition. As is so often the case, the act of learning made me conscious. Through this learning act, I became conscious of my incompetence in managing a transition.
I learned that a transition is not only the space between an end and a new beginning, it is the open space for creativity and evolution – not just doing things differently, but doing different things.
While I have always believed myself to be a courageous spirit, the anxiety in this current transition seems to be excessively intimidating. It is normal in living to come to the occasional contemplation and find yourself stopped while you prepare the passage. Like hiking the wooded trail weaving its way back and forth across the life-giving mountain stream, you are frequently halted to study the placement of the rocks and find your way across.
Strategically placing each step, you cross the stream and continue your hike on the chosen trail. Then comes the unexpected; the next contemplation appears to be a void – its drop steep enough to end your very existence should you have stepped off unaware. The fear in this challenge is less about the distance to the bottom and more about the surprise of the disappointment.
Connection is a Truth
Here I am in the drama of my disappointment. I find myself wondering if the source of my struggle is an unfounded fear burning through a weakened faith. Maybe solving my challenges has come too easily for me in the past. Whatever the case, I’ve realized my anxiety has distracted me from something of extreme importance; connection is a truth.
With this truth I must discover a crossing. I have been reminded that this void is not here to destroy me, but that the materials for the bridge are found in the connection of where I have been and where I have yet to go.
“Whatever you are, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what you were intended for and you will succeed. Be anything else and you will be ten thousand times worse than nothing.” -Sydney Smith