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Posts Tagged ‘Giving’

Driven by the Impact I desire to have and drawn to the Impact I intend to have, I have for many years been a person who studies.

On the day I began my part of this composition, Judy (my coach, colleague, and friend) and I were talking about a shift in our motivation for reading and studying. We have each come to a place where we no longer study for study-sake. It is now more important to be in study driven by what it is we know we must now learn. And what we now study is in direct support of what we desire and intend to impact.

Modern education is training for autonomy, and in that context, it is almost impossible to admit that knowledge itself is a gift.

–Parker J. Palmer, The Promise of Paradox

In the quest for learning, Judy and I are being challenged to go beyond acquiring for mere practicality and now see our learning for application that is pure.

Please understand, study has served up value and purpose in my life and work. This place where I now stand in life & living requires the shift from a need to study to a need to learn. It is time to bring fullness into the rhythm.

Study is to gather information on the one hand. On the other hand is the need to grow something with what has been gathered. In the sense of application and practice, as I use the term in my coaching, is a true knowing–learning that occurs when the hand of Gather joins the hand of Grow and we then know how to truly Give.

And there lies, with Give, the stand in Creative Tension. Difficult it is to be creative without the tension between what we desire to be real and the possibility we intend.

Impossible it is for me to learn and give of that learning if I do not first receive it as a gift. When received as a gift I find myself soaked in gratitude, and I know then my responsibility is to dry out in the air of giving.

And hence, we have the gift of leadership. A leader holds such tension; holds it long enough to understand what it looks like to give in the present, allowing us to come together and make real the larger story we desire to tell.

A Leadership Poem: You Are Someone

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Things go the way they go, as opposed to the way I’d like them to go.

Very often what is in any situation is in opposition to what I would prefer−and both are most likely okay; full of their own truth. And so here I have opportunity for a mandorla. What might I discover in a specific situation by holding the two together for a bit? What might I see and learn in the overlap of the two circles−which in the overlap itself is the teaching mandorla?

The example is my mind and heart in some proposed work with a favorite client in Oklahoma. My mind wants it finalized, adding nicely to my year. My heart desires to hold the moment and trust all will be okay. And maybe for now my learning, and holding, is in the simple recognition of the mind-heart mandorla.

This overlap (tension) is, I suppose, Creative Presence.

Skill 5As with any two sides to any one issue−seeming opposites−there is tension. It just may be that this overlap of tension is when we are at our best with Giving. And here lies the paradox with Skill 5, the skill of Giving. This skill is about giving in and through our work at all levels.

At the core of all brands of giving is listening. In the mind circle, listening is at the surface focusing on outcomes. In the heart circle, listening is at the source of what’s most important to you.

You’ve heard it said, “It’s not personal, it’s business.” You’ve also heard it said, “The heart wants what it wants.” In the mind circle is the timing aspect. Once you’ve done your part, you expect an outcome in return. The heart circle wants to trust the process and desires freedom in giving−a brand of presence that is not distracted by the sometimes trivial pursuit of the mind.

As the two circles collide, we are presented with one of the most troublesome challenges, waiting.

“Paradox is brought to its next stage of development by a highly conscious waiting. The ego can do no more; it must wait for that which is greater than itself.” −Robert A. Johnson, Owning Your Own Shadow

If  you can bear with the overlap of the two circles, hold it long enough, the mind and heart begin to push you into the necessary Creative Presence.

So, holding this overlap as best I can I find myself carefully reviewing how I can give in my network at a deeper, more contextual level; hopefully taking proper advantage of my waiting.

What is an important issue where you need to create a mind/heart mandorla and enter your Creative Presence?

For more on Presence, see post Shadow Strengths – Chapter Five (Presence)

BCL Blog 4

 

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As Brian Whetten teaches his clients, you market self and service in this 21st Century by Giving. I have been focused on this approach for 11 years.

Ironically, the most genuine, authentic forms of giving require the greatest level of detachment. When we are emotionally invested in a pre-conceived outcome, then our act of giving is more about our own feelings and desires than it is about the benefits to the other person.  If you can remove emotional attachment to the outcome, then the outcome actually changes.  The outcome is no longer the observable reaction of the individual but the actual impact of the gift given. −Ric Gonzalez

Mentor as Teacher/Learner of Experience
(Skill 5: Giving)

Here is my creative tension that is sometimes hard to hold; giving as an elder while still having to make a living in this challenging climate.

We no longer need to change or adjust other people to be happy ourselves. Ironically, we are more than ever before in a position to change people−but we do not need to−and that makes all the difference. −Richard Rohr, Falling Upward

Where am I in this eldership? Richard again says it best; “We do what we are called to do and then try to let go of the consequences.”

Mentee as Learner/Teacher in Experience
(Skill 5: Discovery and Cultivating Confidence)

Help us develop the confidence to assume increasing levels of responsibility. Give us the freedom to create our own path and the support to make the story our own. When the time is right, give us the support needed to close one chapter of our story and begin a new chapter. Realize that because of our strong commitment to the networks we create, it will be difficult for us to find the courage to leave that behind and begin making our own vision a reality.
−Jason Guinn

To give is to be in a joyful space. No matter your generation you have something to give now. Be present with your gift and allow us the gift of your presence.

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It’s essentially a re-write of the old adage that you cannot love others until you love yourself. In order to be present for others, we must learn to be present for ourselves. We must learn introspection before we can be prepared to authentically engage in “extrospection” for others. Not a real word, by the way, but you get my drift: look inside before you look outside. Jeff’s reminder to me and to others is to take the time to take care of yourself so that you will be refreshed and in the proper state of mind to even begin to think of taking care of others. This works on many levels and in just about every circumstance. –Ric Gonzalez, Service with a Purpose (Reflecting on Presence)

Skills: Networking – and – Giving
Chapters Four and Five: Voice – and – Presence

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