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Posts Tagged ‘Love’

And the deepest of reality,
an original endowment,
is the intricate truth
of who one really is.

−verse 4 of Transforming Trueness (Repose)

How freeing it was for me to learn how to be a neutral facilitator. At first, such learning was about being more skilled. Then, I heard a rule opening me to the learning, and subsequently teaching me to pay attention: It’s not about me; it’s all about them.

This guiding rule of facilitation also helped open me to my cardinal rule:

That the individual be encouraged.

It was the Thanksgiving week, and my wife and I flew to her parent’s home so we could then drive them to Texas to visit family. I had not been to my father-in-law’s home place in over a quarter of a century. So, since the last time I had seen Keith, he had unfolded a full career and was 500 days from his qualified, official retirement.

I was able to spend quality time with the family members there as several of them worked together on improvements around the farm. Throughout the weekend, I was amazed at Keith’s ability to pay attention to every detail of a conversation and bring tidbits of information from songs, movies, and television to enliven the narrative.

On the last evening before we drove back, Keith and I were standing outside with two other cousins in conversation. I told him what I had observed and I then offered up a challenge for him to think about how he could use his ability to pay attention for what was next in his life and living once those 500 days were up.

The most loving thing I know how to do is to encourage another human spirit. Encouragement is a gift that was given to me. I suppose it was encoded in my DNA. My acts of encouragement are undergirded by my life mission to love, serve, and understand.

It is important to be aware of strengths and the accompanying pitfalls in the shadow of each.

Pitfalls, and a Living Methodology
In my life mission, I’ve been well served by becoming conscious of these specific traps:

Love: When I focus on whether or not love is being shown back to me.

Serve: When I give and falsely expect something (anything) in return.

Understand: When this becomes a ‘need to understand’ focused on me versus an action given and released.

Judy (my coach) has been an integral part of my evolution and ever-unfolding journey. At a time when I was feeling another transition in the work, and further pain in continuing transformation, she challenged me to focus on changing my perception at my wonderful stage of life’s journey.

After quite a bit of contemplation, here was my commitment in light of my gather-give-grow methodology:

Gather: I will more consciously work to live more simply. I will work harder to care for my wife and myself first, so we can better care for others. I will ease up on what I expect from others. I will continue to keep my commitment to encourage no matter what.

Give: I will become presently conscious of what I can do, do that, and release the action into the flow.

Grow: I will participate more in conscious being. This one I will gladly figure out as I go.

As we were saying goodbye to family members one by one at the farm, Keith approached me. With a bit of emotion showing forth in his eyes and voice, he said, “Thank you for the encouragement.”

A poem for your work: It’s Why I’m Here

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Transition, one then another
dispensed on a soul
is to an individual
proof simply one is living.

−verse 1 of Transforming Trueness (Repose)

My voice of love, and its strength of encouragement, implore and equip me to share important things with you. At the forefront of such sharing is my wish for you to take the appropriate time for yourself, with associated energy focused on your service−the impact of your Trueness.

As I considered the deeper context to which this work has led me, other questions were opened for my consideration.

To what has this work led me? Where has this work led me?

My answers:
To what has this work led me?

To an appreciation, & consideration, of the potential of what I know.
To a holding that doesn’t require a possessive need to understand.
To an intersection of study and work in the center of Desire & Intent.
To my own simple Trueness.

Where has this work led me?

To a point where I try to do more and more in and from love.
Into a flow, a letting go practice into the flow, of what is, now.
To a place of intuitive trust: trusting a sequence to see the unfolding.
To a focus on Trueness, for others.

I love beautiful questions. I love also when another beautifully answers such a question for me, based on what she knows of me–my Trueness. From the influence of Bernadette Jiwa (TheStoryofTelling.com), I asked myself: Where does what matters to me intersect with what matters to the other?

Listening
This question was beautifully answered by Coach Judy when she said to me, “Your clients know you listen and really hear them. That’s the intersection.”

Listening is the intersection of what matters to me, and what matters to the individual. I must keep allowing this, for this is the deeper context and the deeper connection. Where else will it take me? We’ll see.

So, when you learn to speak of loving your work–a work you’ve been given–you now speak more about those for whom you do your work, individuals you’ve been given the privilege to love.

This is your impact.

A poem for your work: This is Your Service

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Voice of the Leader Within

Hear the Middle Melody

Fortunate I am, and a blessed place to be on this interior journey, as I continue to learn how to firmly, openly know this middle space.

The exterior part of all experience has equally been a series of blessings. For so long I wondered why the rub against judgment was placed in me, in my spirit. Now, I feel I know why in my soul. It is because my calling needed a beginning, something on which to build a journey. I suppose it’s like the grain of sand inside the shell.

For this grain I am thankful, for it has played a part in a pearl of great price. On “price,” and such pearl, I have to wonder if the great part of price refers more to the cost along the journey than simply the generic value of a pearl.

Mayra’s story begins with a point of suffering on the inside–the illness of a child. I am certain you agree that we don’t need all the details to imagine, or feel, the sorrow of such a reality.

As a child, Mayra knew what she wanted to do with her life. She wanted to teach peace. Peace is what she now teaches, in literally everything she does. It is how she does so that is the impetus for this piece.

The Messy Middle

Mayra is a very contemplative person. She is deeply moved by things, by experience. In each experience, she listens deeply to both intuition and to feeling. Everything she does and sees has meaning to her. This includes even the smallest of activities where many of us so often find our minds wandering to the next thing on the list.

Mayra’s challenge to us as leaders is to try to do everything from a place of love – not a place of obligation (moving our attention from “in order to” to “for the sake of” as Allen Huff’s dad taught). Her entreaty is to only do things out of love: while the outcomes may look the same as those done from obligation, the intentions are totally different. To not act from this place of love can be degrading, to self, to others.

While one may be “obligated” to do something, it behooves one to learn how to do it out of love. How does Mayra remain in such presence, and act in such grace? She said to me, “I’m inspired every single day. Challenges in my life have only brought me closer to who I am, to my humanity.” In limited human terms, she could find every excuse to hide under a blanket of self-pity. Instead, she released the leader within, the leader born in her Trueness.

Failure is not the opposite of success; it is just on the other side of the seesaw that is the reality of life & living, and of being a leader. There is peace in the middle melody –the middle stand as a leader. Only at this fulcrum of the middle do we truly release the leader within. Mayra calls this level of awareness the messiness of the middle.

In this beautiful, middle space, the external and the internal become one, the inner life and outer life are one. This is the point of the middle melody, if we only listen.

 Voice and Tension

Mayra’s voice is Respect (Civility). From this voice, she talked to me about how the work of a leader is the work of protecting humanity and the environment in which we find ourselves working together. We need each other. Although we may do individual work in our separate spaces, we are all connected. It is all about you and not about you at the same time. Welcome to the creative tension of the middle.

As she had described herself to me as a contemplative person, I asked Mayra to give me a visual of what it looks like to be a contemplative leader. Here is what she said:

A contemplative leader is present. You are aware of not only what is happening in the environment, with the people involved, but also very aware of what is happening with you. We are very complex beings.

Further, she said that if we operate only from our minds, and our ego, we do damage to those we supposedly lead, and to self. To avoid such individual and collective damage, Mayra implores us to “Stand in the freaking tension that hurts like hell!” I know that Mayra has learned to do this! From within, she leads. From within, she feels with us, hears in the present experience, and sees the impact–a rhythm made possible by trusting the unfolding.

We Lead Who We Are.

Parker J. Palmer, an impassioned teacher, believes that we teach who we are. In studying his book, The Courage to Teach, I found myself replacing teach with coach, and eventually with lead.

Coaching hundreds of individual leaders brought me to the conviction that we indeed most effectively (and affectively) lead from the ground of who we are. Imagine the discoveries we could experience if we consciously navigated with the sextant of who we are at the helm – our Trueness.

Working one-on-one with leaders–building individual confidence–has taught me many things. These many individuals, through the generosity of trust, opened me to what I’ve been teaching, and so passionately desire to continue teaching, Rhythm.

Like Mayra, I’m still finding a more abundant answer in how to continue teaching from the powerful calling of voice. She and I are learning to continually trust the unfolding. The essence of such trust can only flow because of voice–a courageous, conscious application of Trueness in each circumstance.

A Leadership Poem: Peace Betwixt

Mayra Porrata

 

Mayra Porrata is an educator, writer, publisher and  speaker on community health promotion, social-emotional health, personal peace, conscious leadership, social entrepreneurship, and establishing cultures of collaboration and support.


Sunny Day Publishing
Follow Mayra on Twitter

Cuyahoga Morning – by Anna Sabino

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Rhythm

As Jen has said, purpose is the embodiment of strengths. Love flows when you lead and live with purpose. In Trueness, you are unrestrained to lovingly lead us from the rhythm of your strengths applied.

Jen and I were in a call with three other important individuals to our own work and rhythm: Dan, Mayra, and Ric. Dan had asked a powerful question causing us each to tell a story of a point of turning in our work; a moment ultimately, for sure, guiding us to deeper context, purpose, and Trueness.

As I listened to the individual answers, and beautiful stories, a story from my journey suddenly crystallized as that definitive pivot. When it came my turn, I told the story. Knowing our final posts in this series would carry a theme of love, and story, Jen encouraged me to write about this point of turning. I did write about this in 2014, but forgive me as I briefly share the story again as we close this series.

Close to a quarter century now, and it still plays in my mind like it was yesterday. Cliff (her nickname) was at our house for a southern supper. She had family in Alabama and had told me how she missed southern BBQ. At the time, I was a manager of a field accounting team. Cliff was my staff specialist and the team’s technical support.

I was on the brick terrace just outside the kitchen tending to the grill and the main course for the southern delight we were about to share. As it was a lovely Ohio evening, the kitchen window was cranked open. Through the window I heard Cliff say to Becky how much the individuals on the team liked working with me. That’s when Becky said what has stayed with me all these years: “Cliff, Jeff loves each and every one of you.”

Becky has always been my rock of support for who I am and what it is I really do, my purpose. She knew then that all I did to lead, support, and develop the individuals in my care was done from a place of love.

If we devote ourselves to the effort to be real, the Universe in all its forms will find us, the way that wind finds leaves and waves find shore. –Mark Nepo

When you finally commit to lead from the rhythm of your Trueness, you can grasp the reality that there is no priority higher than that of your love.

Love, for me, is the creative tension in the Gather, Give, Grow rhythm of my strengths. Love is my voice. To encourage is the strength of my voice. Love flows through the cadence of passion, purpose, presence.

My passion is my desire that you embrace the power of who you are. My purpose draws me toward work, and a way of living, that encourages the loving leader in you. This passion and this purpose bring me into a space with you, to share presence.

The freedom you need to lead in loving rhythm is secured by the privilege of being true.

A Leadership Poem: The PrivilegeR1-06932-0024

 

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The Trust View (Attachment/Detachment)

This part 7 is about the tension (tense holding) that is an opportunity to release some beautiful creativity into the flow of it all. This is about that space between attachment and detachment.

In the midst of this very composition, B.J. and I find ourselves in such an opportune space. For us this space isn’t only about selling a property and moving to a new place; it is about a significant step in how life & living will now look. It is a chance to catch a lot and a time that requires much hold & release.

The early birdsongs were saying it all works together for good, if we but let it. It all works out even if I don’t seem to let it (let go). But if I don’t let it, such becomes a refusal to participate and I miss out on seeing it all unfold. I do not want to miss that, ever!

The Creative Tension (Attachment/Detachment)

When our simplification transition began I realized a difficult tension. In our entire individual and partnered lives neither B.J. or I have lived in any one place as long as we’ve lived here. This is significant. We are not talking just a change, we are talking transition–Major!

This move more than any other from our past has me truly in a space between. I find my mind and heart in a middle, holding past and future. I suppose this middle is the present.

Work among all its abstracts, is actually intimacy, the place where self meets the world. –David Whyte, Consolations

Whyte says so much so briefly about why I write what I write and the way I write to you as a leader. In this 21st Century we need–must have–leaders who lead from the core of self: Trueness.

The need for leadership reminds me of the vision and desire that pulled me into starting this practice: I desire, through the leaders I coach and teach, to influence the space of work in becoming one of abundance and love.

I am attached to all that has gone on before to bring me to this stand, but I cannot hold it in a way keeping me from walking on. Yes, I am drawn forward into a future I cannot control. So I must detach from any expectation too specific to a predetermined outcome; this is always limiting.

To forgive everything is to live the beautiful poetry we each are. Knowing everything belongs is to be open to all that stirs our souls–to be one with it all. Then to see the unfolding becomes a nourished way of being and walking in this world.

Be aware, focused, and loving in your steady walk as a leader.

A Poem at WadingtheStream.com There are Birds There Too

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Arriving at real presence is to enter a flow alive with the rhythm of who you are.

Narrowing my personal brand of leadership love, and subsequently broadening my impact, enriched my work and life. The intensity of love strengthened my focus. Love flows through my work, only after doing its work in me.

The love of a leader
a journey you accept, and
thankful we are for the
Impact,
what we know by your rhythm.
—from Impact – The Leader’s Love

Real presence (Trueness) displays the design uniquely visible in your natural, interior landscape. You love when you lead others to trek this original path. Any individual who follows your loving lead will depend on the rhythmic frequency of your uniqueness.

Love defined for the leader is to lead others with confidence while leading others to their own confidence.

The journey is enlivened when you travel conscious of what you most desire to give through your work. The working love of a confident leader builds the confidence of others.

It’s okay to love your work and in your work, love.

“Only those who are totally secure in their love can live thus fully the present moment.” —Thomas H. Green, When the Well Runs Dry

Driven by passion, and drawn by purpose, your presence honors the flow of Trueness. Through a consistent commitment to presence, your reach in this world is extended and your impact broadened. This is Trueness lived. Trueness lived is confident substantiation of your love as a leader.

Story lives in moments
folds into potential
unfolds in love.

In Trueness you become the aware, focused, and loving leader. You listen. You see present need. You are learning to consistently trust the story you see and then tell it to us in order to fill the need.

Driven by your love for us, you tell effectively. You are present with your love and we have love in your presence. To be accountable for your story, and present with our stories, is to have Impact in this world.

To miss the point of love in work, especially in your work as a leader, is to miss out on the work experience altogether and the very point of leading: an opportunity to Love—uniquely!

A Poem for Your Leadership Love

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What’s love got to do with it?

It was 22 years ago, and it still plays in my mind like it was yesterday. Cliff (her nickname) was at our house for a southern supper. She had family in Alabama and had told me how she missed southern BBQ.

At the time I was a manager of a field accounting team. Cliff was my staff specialist and the team’s technical support.

I was on the brick terrace just outside the kitchen tending to the grill and the main course for the southern delight we were about to share. Being a lovely Ohio evening the kitchen window was cranked open. Through that window I heard Cliff state to Becky how much the team liked working with me.

That’s when Becky said what has stayed with me all these years: “Cliff, Jeff loves each and every one of you.” Becky has always been a tremendous support of both who I am and what it is I really do. She knew then that all I did to lead, support, and develop the individuals in my care was done from a place of love.

In the brightness of your Trueness you are freed to lead and love. From the strength of your real self your work is brought into a powerful reality and presence. In the reality of such true work there is no higher priority than that of your love.

So again, What’s love got to do with it?

Everything!

It’s okay to love your work, and in your work … Love!

“If we devote ourselves to the effort to be real, the Universe in all its forms will find us, the way that wind finds leaves and waves find shore.” −Mark Nepo

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